If we create what we think, dream, consume, believe, feel either of our own volition or an unconsciously conditioned response, why not do the best we can to inhabit our power, push our boundaries and then rest fully embodied into a larger vision of our Self and our world.

So, I figure why not go ahead and put some of my own future vision out into the interweb universe so that it can be beamed up to Mercury in honor of his retrograde. Then maybe we will have a mutual understanding to what I’m asking him for and there will be no misunderstandings.

Because you know men!!!!!

Better be clear with what you’re asking ; )  ha.

So here ’tis Mercury Man…. my manifest vision for you to carry up to the heavens and the cosmos.

We will be in touch to see how things are coming along.

Sealed.

With.

A.

Kiss.

xoxoxo

The future.

Starts.

Now.

Nicole Lilly – LPC, ABP, RYT // Native Imprints

I facilitate Self-Discovery sessions that are based on my own experimental approach to a  blend of proven methods. My authentic style is a draws from formal training and teachings, direct personal and professional experience, and a healthy curiosity and inquisitive nature to explore the unseen and misunderstood.

Can be packaged as group workshops or individual one-on-one sessions. Single, multi-day and ongoing formats are available.

• Somatic Directed Awareness
• Mind-Body Observation and Analysis
• Biodynamic Energy Clearing
• CranioSacral Therapy
• Hypnosis / NativeNidra / DreamWork
• Thai Yoga Massage // Acupressure // Partner Yoga

• Dynamic Group Processing
• Guided Self-Inquiry
• Licensed Counseling

• Yoga and Eastern Philosophy
• Shamanic and Native Rituals
• Channeling / Clair-Sensory
• Crystalline Energy and Oils

• Ceremonial Blessing / Priestess
• Tarot and Astrology

Yoga and Experiential Workshop Topics

• Empowerment
• Creativity / Dance / Authentic Movement
• Drumming / Music
• Intimacy and Self-Discovery
• Meditation and Breathwork
• Into the Wild – nature and spirit quests

OUT OF THE STATE / COUNTRY RETREATS!

Seva and Self-Discovery

Nicole is a successful  body psychotherapist, writer and yogi sought out for her unique approach and skills. She specializes in working with experiential techniques for radical breakthroughs. She graduated with honors from the Somatic Body Psychotherapy program at Naropa University in Boulder, CO.

**** Thanks Mercury. Your winged blessings are infinitely appreciated!****

Cordillera Blanca, Peru

As life is often marked by the cadence of time and events, the seasonal arrival of Dia de los Muertos recalled to memory a paper on Introspection that I wrote as part of my Yoga Teacher Training course certification requirements last year.

The context of the writing was to be around my resulting thoughts of a couple chosen books:
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

But really, this writing had much more to do with my own personal process of awakening, heartache and some very real deaths occurring in my life that were eroding my self-concept. I find that similar patterns of experience present themselves, with different messages that can serve as guideposts if we are paying attention.

This is why I am a huge fan of pausing to evaluate where you’ve come from, taking in the scenery behind from your current vantage point.

 Living and Dying by the Ego (November 2011) 

It’s a tad long-ish at 5 pages, but there are colorful pictures and quotes scattered about to help keep your interest. ; )

We may be able to see this huge gape coming into our field, and out of a habituated response, we start to build plans for how to conquer it or drudge across in dread.

Maybe the gap is more like a bamboo trap, all hidden and seemingly innocent, until we fall in and then must spend our valuable time and energy to strategize a way out.

The more frequently this happens, the better we become at acclimating our internal compass to point us in the right direction. Still it is up to us to plan the ultimate route.

Do we attempt to leap across?
Diligently gather resources to create a crossing?

It is not always necessary to build a bridge across these gaps, or find Herculean mental strength to  leap across the boundary into the next challenge.  Those are certainly possibilities, depending on your strategy (or lack thereof).

However, sometimes we need to just acknowledge the obstacle as a place we aren’t meant to enter. If it looks like a hole we’ve seen a hundred times over, perhaps the appropriate response is a different response.

Perhaps the appropriate response is to go around.
Find another way.
Do not enter.

I find myself encountering huge gaps as I begin to more fully bridge my professional endeavors to align with my passions and my efforts to TRANSITION into a realm that looks quite unlike what it did 2 or 3 years ago.

I like all of these definitions but I’m intrigued by the last, as it certain feels like I’m changing in some sense from one quantum state to another.

As such, I’m better attuned to these gaps and fortunately, I feel that I have given myself some personal wiggle room to flourish and simply refuse a path that is offered to me, if it doesn’t feel right in my gut.

I’d like to make the distinction between this and Fear, because they are not the same thing.

Fear would be allowing the mind (ego) to trick you into thinking you have no other choice than to build that bridge or get mired in the gape.  Only one apparent pathway from A to B.

Well, there are a million other gaps that will show up during your transition, so really there’s no need to engage in those that do not serve your ultimate purpose and path.

The scarier path may be to “just say no” and move along to create new grooves and your own pathway. The great thing is, the more you practice this in a mindful way, the easier it becomes. And soon, you WILL be able to gain that Herculean mental strength to conquer anything that comes your way.

Here’s a great poem that I am reminded of by this.   Enjoy!

There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk


Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

By Portia Nelson
 
Chapter One

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.
 
Chapter Two


I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend that I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in this same place.

But, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.
 
Chapter Three


I walk down the same street.

There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
 my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.
 
Chapter Four


I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.
 
Chapter Five


I walk down another street.

Perhaps we dream of a scene only to find ourselves in that exact spot sometime soon after. Or we meet someone that it seems like we’ve known before.

Are these mere coincidence of situations that are interpreted by the mind as familiar?
According to Psychology Today, the answer is “yes”

“This feeling of knowing is related to knowledge about the source of a memory.

The experience of déjà vu involves having that feeling of knowing in a situation in which you are experiencing something totally new.”

Usually these experiences come in more rare cases, or in fewer clusters of coincidental subconscious.

So I must question the phenomenon when there are MANY of these feelings combined and compounded into a short timeframe.  This has been happening for me the past several days.

Starting with my first day visiting Boulder, I met a girl who had a remarkable likeness to a good friend I met in Indonesia, Rachel. This invited a positive memory for me about the friendship, and also helped me relax with this new group of “strangers.”

But it didn’t stop there.

It seems that nearly every day I have encountered a “twin” of someone I know.
Thankfully, I’m not sure that any of these dear souls caught me during one of my intrigued stares as my mind began to organize its interpretation of these familiar beings.

There is something both comforting and perplexing about this, but it leads me to feel that I am in the “right place.”

Could there be another explanation for this? Why would I meet so many people who remind me of others, most of with whom I’ve shared an uncommon spiritual experience or bond?

I have, more and more often, been seeing people not so much as people but as souls.
This occurs spontaneously mostly, but sometimes I will offer the concept conscious thought. And it’s easier to see some people this way than others, although I’ve not yet found a pattern around this perception as it can really be rather random.

Is it possible that I have stepped into a sort of parallel reality that is a presentation of past accumulated experience? Could Boulder be the place I have literally been creating from my dreams, waking and living? It sounds a little less “exotic” than I initially imagined what manifest reality might look like, but hey…. things show up how they need to.

As I drove through the mountains yesterday, I got this overwhelming feeling that somehow “Yes” this is the case.  Yes, I’d entered into a portal to another dimension of reality. Yes, over the course of several years I have managed to “manifest” and follow my spirit to a place that  presents me with a cumulative view and reminder of those many positive relationships and experiences.

I realize this could sound like a stretch of the imagination to some. And perhaps it is. I’ve always been a rather creative thinker.

But what if there is truth to this?

Quantum physics and all that jazz.

The veils between the worlds are thin this time of year.
The mountain energy holds a special charge that I believe can open these doorways that can’t be seen by the typical means, but can certainly be felt and perceived in other ways.

Just like Alice through the looking glass, I find myself perplexed and inspired by the magic of possibilities.

Yesterday, I ended a 2-week group cleanse based in Ayurveda and Chinese Medicine principles with the aim to transition into Fall season while planting seeds of change in my daily habits: eating, meditation, movement. Essentially, being selective and aware of each thing taken into the mind and body with an observance of the effects.

As a result of the cleanse, I noticed a significant change in my overall mood, whereas I’d been focused primarily on the results in my body with cleanses in the past. The biggest change I had to make in this cleanse was a lot of personal food preparation, primarily vegetarian…. neither of which were my strengths (I once was a better home cook, but have since selected easier methods for healthy eating).  The diet was also gluten-free, which I’d been needing to experiment with, and consider a contributing factor to my improved emotional health as recent studies suggest a possibility for gluten-intolerant individuals.

Overall, I felt more patient, content, pleasant and even felt stronger feelings of love.

I did feel a bit of a letdown with the cleanse coming to an end. (I recognize this as a lifelong lesson of endings and attachment) Yet, I also know how I feel is all within my own control.  This cleanse helped me come to another level of realization about how to do that in a practical, day-to-day manner. Turns out, a healthy state of mind has quite a bit to do with the body.

So now that the “cleanse” is over, I’ll be directing my awareness to maintaining these practices and state of mind, and layer in new practices where they make sense.

The cleanse also happened to end on October 12th – which marked a significant date from my past.  I was married a decade ago on October 12th. 10 years. wow.

Lots of things have changed since then. Many cycles waxed and waned and wandered.

I have also been divorced longer than I was married, so there is a feeling that the whole thing got cancelled out in a strangely rewarding way… and I’m happy with my continual purging of life to arrive where I am now.

So all this cleansing led me to begin thinking about my personal progression over the past 10 years.

What are my major life learnings from this past decade? What have these cycles taught me most?

What wisdom and insight have I gained up to this point of adulthood?

I’d say it’s hard to pinpoint a decade of insight, but here is a good attempt!

#1 Your true essence will present itself

Consciously creating new habits takes time, but life also has a sneaky way of rushing in to shift your perspective in a flash.

I’d long felt in my life like I was unable to reconcile finding and living in a way that was truly ME. It seemed like a damper was always being put onto my essence. As I transitioned from my “early adult” years and inched closer to 30,  it seems like there was a quickening of this awareness.

Within matter of no time, I made a beeline from unhappily married to divorced with a good dose of mistress behavior thrown in between (what better way to passive-aggressively ruin a relationship). I went from working corporate life in Austin to Atlanta and back again, finding myself unemployed multiple times and eventually working freelance for myself. Which is where I’ve most happily been, yet I recognized that something significant was still missing from my life. I ditched home ownership in favor of travel, part-time work, pursuing yoga {teaching} and now…here I am with a good set of perspective and a better vision for charting my course.

Once you realize that the way you’ve been living isn’t who you really are or that particular version of you is coming up for expiration, new opportunities and lessons will present themselves again and again until you find yourself on the right track. Even when often it feels like you’re not.

When you forget your essence (which is really eternally Divine) life will remind you. Not always politely.

With this faith and understanding, I will be putting my heart and head into making space for my essence to really evolve into my full Self.  I am planting those seeds of change.

#2. Whatever you have suppressed will eventually surface

No matter if you have suppressed love, anger, judgement, fear, grace, creativity, sensuality, etc…. you will need to deal with the excessive / deficient states of the emotions along with their origins in order to move past it.

I’ve encountered all of these emotions as eruptions due to their suppression. {although undoubtedly I’ve expressed some (anger) more readily than others (love).}

I’ve had an intention for a long time to better dissolve my state of Anger / Sadness into a state of Love. It’s been slow going, but I’ve most certainly noticed a lot of progress.  Every practice of awareness I bring to myself moves me farther along.

Until we develop a healthy way to address anything we feel suppressed by, we will be holding ourselves back.

#3 We all need Love.

And we are often too afraid to ask for it. Or too afraid to feel it, much less offer it up.

Love takes a deep internal passion for yourself first. No one who fears loving themselves can truly love another with a pure heart.

Even intimacy and sensuality are often felt as threats rather than invitations to open.

Consider where you may be holding back yourself or others from true expressions of Love.

Europeans often greet each other with hugs and kisses. In Asia, with a bow of honor and respect.

How can we be inspired to be more receptive to fully inhabiting love and our relationships, not just superficially or wholeheartedly, but with our whole being?

#4 Boundaries are necessary. Walled off feelings are a stalemate for progress.

We often create walls because we fail to successfully create boundaries.

Boundaries are healthy and necessary for all relationships of every kind. When we fail to understand, acknowledge and communicate them we develop a resentment that harden the boundaries into walls.

In the end, with this approach we inevitably hurt ourselves and also those we are confused about protecting…. try to get clear on difference.

Your needs for privacy, Self-reflection and healthy boundaries in social settings is tantamount to co-exist in peace. I dare you to go out alone and walk around observing your natural boundaries and those places you feel greatest at ease and where you feel constricted. How does it feel in your body and mind? Then begin to translate this to your daily essential practice.

It’s all about learning to read the signals.

# 5 Changing a belief system takes an open and willing mind to question your assumptions about everything.

I’ve always been a person to question rules and beliefs set as general truths. I consider this one of the gifts that I have been blessed with, as those who are afraid to be “rule-breakers” have always puzzled me.

Where it gets intimidating though is when questioning our own “rules” and behavior that we’ve created for ourselves. We must be willing to examine not just the external established standards set out by society, but also must engage the same inquiry on a personal, interpersonal and transpersonal level to allow room for the type of possibilities that potentially await us.

Be the observer and step outside yourself to see what’s going on.

Separate the logical mind and see what can happen.

In days past, I used psychedelic substances to arrive at a radically different perspective (which really was an escape mechanism for a reality I couldn’t cope with).  Having backed out of that method, I decided to take a chance with some psylocybin in Indonesia (derived naturally from legal magic mushrooms)… This experience followed an already heightened spiritual awareness I discovered in my yoga training, and the solo psychedelic trip put me well outside of normal boundaries and ushered in a profound spiritual love affair with my Self… I’ve heard some refer to this as the left hand path.  These particular psycho-spiritual  techniques can have benefit, but just like any other tool it is to be used selectively and carefully (not a method I employed in my careless youth).

Now, I tend to favor more esoteric type endeavors, although I’ve not gone nearly as far in these practices as I hope to.

Bottom line, whatever your method…. Take a leap of faith and do things to liberate you from the mental chains that bind.
Witness your ways of being in order to discover your creative capacity to create your own path for living with an intentional purpose and passion.

# 6 Passion and desire are to be followed carefully

Without discernment, passion can whisk you away into addictive patterns that are substitutes for authentic experience. Example 1: had I not recognized the limitations of my psychedelic induced spiritual bliss, it could have become a pattern for eventual destruction. Example 2: following the passion of an “off-limits” love affair led me down a rabbit hole of great despair and depression that would take significant personal resources to recover from.

Passion is a tricky beast. It often appears through untamed desire. It is at once fiery and intoxicating and fully alive. Mind her closely or she will lead you into the womb of lustful cravings that beckon. Follow her into the full light of the moon and the stars and the sun and you can discover an entire realm of cosmic possibilities.

Life without passion isn’t a life worth living. Embrace it, but don’t let it consume you.

You’ll need to contain the fire so it does not uncontrollably spread in a wild and wanting way. Discernment, wisdom and insight should be the fuel to light your love affair with Life.

# 7 We must cultivate the ability to ground ourselves and free ourselves simultaneously in order to create our own opportunities.

We need to be open to radical new experiences for radical shifts to occur in our life.

Just as important is to recognize where we’ve become unglued from the present and if we are so caught up in the high of liberation that we forget to ground ourselves into the here and now. Chasing the high is exhilarating and can also be very exhausting once we do slow down. My biggest moments of realization seem to come when I allow myself enough longevity in grounding and making my liberated worldview a manifest reality.

It is important to take measure of where we’ve come from and what we have learned so that we can use these insights to craft the direction of our life opportunities. Whatever we shed light on will be within our energetic realm. If we don’t slow down enough to shed light on our Self, then our Self we will never find.

#8  Sad endings are often followed by the brightest opportunities.

We become sad whenever we have to let some thing or person be released from our life in order to continue our growth.

Sometimes the circumstances are traumatic, and this provides us another perspective to work with. Sometimes the circumstances are just due to a feeling of loss, and if we are not prepared, then a fear arises because we do not understand our direction.  These sad endings will come many, many times and are an essential part of the growth process.

Whatever lesson you have to learn here is an opportunity to invite situations that bring joy, love and peace into your life.

Taken together, the ending is sure to produce for you fertile opportunities for growth and sustained happiness that will light you up from the inside.

So get ready…. It’s time to shine!!!

I have had my fair share of injuries over the years, starting in early childhood. In many ways, these injuries became parts of whom I am (have been). There has typically been some silly story to accompany most of them, and also an embedded psychological imprint, particularly with those traumas sustained when I was old enough to make associative connections. Thus, the traumas became triggers.

One of the earliest injuries I know of is when I sported a black eye for about 6 months at the age of 3. I fell down on the corner of a coffee table as I ran around and around with the energy that only a toddler can generate.  This is one of those defining childhood incidents that gets mentioned for years.

I  remember my first broken bone being my second toe (the “Middleton” toe, representing my inherited stubborn streak from my father’s side). My cousin dropped me in a childhood game of “wheelbarrow” (you know, where you walk on your hands as someone holds your legs and feet at their side).

A little later, I earned a broken arm as I attempted tricks on a trampoline. This introduced me to a very real element of fear when trying risky things with my body.  This was also the point where my parents decided I should never be allowed to pursue activities that would place me at said risk. Although, if I’d been allowed train in the karate (too masculine and dangerous?) or gymnastics (far too risky!) that I was interested in, I would have likely developed a greater level of physical and mental control unknown to me.  (I’m still not sure why I was never enrolled in the art classes my entire family seemed certain I should take, displaying natural gifts in this area…. no risk of injury there unless I’d gouged myself in the eye with a pencil). This trend of “No” would persist and form my not-too-far-off teenage rebellion.

When I was 11, I broke my nose in softball practice {severely…. the blood rushed out like a full stream faucet}. My coach pscyhed me out by pretending he was throwing the ball to another teammate and when I looked up, I caught the ball with my face. I remember choking on the gushing blood than ran down my throat as the woman helping me realized this nosebleed was unstoppable by conventional methods. I didn’t cry until many hours later, when I took my first look at the injury in a mirror and saw my nose to one side of my face. It hurt my young developing ego more than my body, it seems. This required surgery and a nose cast with more black eyes.  Trust in adults and in my own abilities continued to diminish. I didn’t really like softball all that much anyway, but it was an “approved” activity.

I’d later try out for the volleyball team in junior high (not a natural athlete), the dance team before my high school freshman year (not the right social status) and the cheerleading squad the following year (see aforementioned….Denied, Denied, Denied!!!) Message received: You’re not good enough for our teams, go find a group somewhere else.

Well, with all the injuries and rejection its no wonder I said “to hell with it” and determined that the things I COULD stand out {and simultaneously fit in} doing were much more edgy and rebellious than any conformed social group would allow for…. smoking pot, reading poetry and books (something I loved since I was young), making art and creating revelry to a soundtrack of hardcore music became my prime activities of the time.  All the while, grades and studies were never a real issue for me. I was lucky enough to be born with a higher than average IQ (at least according to the tests). I was unlucky enough to have skipped 3rd grade, bearing the brunt of parental misguidance in effectively raising and interacting with an intellectually gifted and complex child in the confines of a conservative and backwards lower Alabama (talk about inherited social wounding!)

My senior year of high school I sustained a horrible discloation of my knee.  I fell out of a tree during a yearbook photo shoot. (Well, my foot stay lodged in the tree trunk and forced the two halves of my left leg to twist in opposite directions, snapping the patella right out of its groove.) I’d been invited to be part of the fashion spread for my unique sense of style – one of the ways I vowed to express my creativity.  The injury was serious. My kneecap was stuck at more than a 90 degree angle to the left of where it should’ve been. My initial cries of pain where laughed at, since people were used to my purposeful dramatizations that were typically steeped more in tragedy than comedy. I was taken by ambulance to the local hospital. They were nice enough to let my friend, Amy, come with me.  It was the worst pain I’d ever endured. I remember it took a good 2 shots of Demerol and a shot of Valium to calm the pain enough so that the knee could be re-set.  I wonder if it would have taken that much medication to relieve me had I not developed a narcotic and psychedelic substance abuse habit along the way?  I ended up with my photos in the yearbook…. Photos of me in pain, dressed in my funky style. I did not purchase a copy of my Senior Yearbook. The Freak (a name that was commonly shouted at me by ignorant redneck schoolmates) did not approve.

That knee injury has continued to give me problems over the years. I’ve re-injured it a number of times, with the last time in 2010 – the worst since my initial injury. I was not in a healthy emotional state during that time.

The summer of 2000 I went to Cozumel, Mexico to celebrate my college graduation with my then-boyfriend, later to be ex-husband. I was running across hot sand to get to the pier for snorkeling. The pier was really slippery and sloped. A slippery slope. As soon as I stepped on it, my feet rushed from under me and I caught myself on my bottom and my hands. My bottom kept sliding. My hands stayed in placed. And my elbow bent opposite of its natural direction, leaving me with a nasty dislocation. Again? You’ve got to be f-ing kidding!?! This led to the most interesting medical visit I’ve had. A cab ride over bumpy streets to the radiologist office followed by x-rays taken in my swimsuit confirmed my injury. The radiologist puffed on cigarettes as he drove us in his ripped up Yugo to see the doctor located in the back room of the Farmacia. As I waited for the doctor to arrive in this closet-like facility, I was dismayed with the appearance of my treatment room: oscillating fan, stained sheets and dusty shelves of medical supplies.  After what seemed an eternity, he finally arrived. He didn’t speak much English. I didn’t speak Spanish. I nervously received a shot of Valium (those ARE new needles, right?) so he could reset the bone and bandage me up with a sling.  My boyfriend walked to down to get $500 out of my account from the ATM to pay for the help I’d received. I did not go snorkeling for the rest of that trip. Luckily we were leaving the next day.
I had a couple other incidents of the elbow dislocating again. Once from a fall while hiking. Once in side plank in Yoga class. I didn’t do side plank for a really long time, and still cannot really get that nice straight line in my arm to properly support my body weight.

I can see these injuries. I can see them when I look in a mirror or a photograph. I am sensing how, over the years they have manifested in body and in my mind. How they have formed many of my inhibitions (handstands? no thanks.) and social perceptions I’ve adopted. I can feel it in my body when I move, stand and sit. I can feel it in my gut and my heart as I recollect the traumas. There are many more traumas not recounted here.

I’ve really only touched the surface in working with my past in this way. It is much more obvious to see the connections than it is to repair the damage. Integrated healing at a deep level, requires many years of study and practice.

It is indeed is a lifelong process.

It is my desire to take these body traumas, my God-given intellect and the wisdom of emotion and energy to create a synergistic healing unto myself. A healing that is known in a deep real way. A gift of insight that I can share with others.

What traumas have you sustained and where have they blocked you from living in a full capacity?

We all have them and live them every single day. It is up to us to find the meaning and to inhabit our presence in such a way that the past does not define us nor our future success.

Or maybe. Just maybe they will provide you with the inspiration and passion for a direction you never imagined you’d be allowed to take in life.

I certainly hope so. In fact, I’m counting on it.

By their very nature, habits are conditioned responses that quickly become our second nature, leaving the realm of conscious action. At some point, we introduce a new action or activity into our life that became repetitious.

In essence, we setup a mind game for ourselves.

The Game

Habit has a whole team working to make sure he keeps winning at this mindless game.

Compulsion is the star player. Distraction, Avoidance and Boredom also play a mean game, scoring high for Attention Deficit.

Since there are no real rules in this game other than Action and Reward, you keep on playing.  That is, until you jump in to call a few Fouls and a Time Out.

These habits proliferate progressively and before we know it, we have multiple teams spawning out of convenience…. that have wedged their way into the spaces of the mind.

This means, that somewhere you are leaving gaps that you could be filling with your actual PASSIONS and INTENTIONS.

Instead, you’re settling for Habit.

Turning from Habit to Passion

The only way out is from the way you got in, which is essentially to identify and retrace your steps.

Experiment how to reframe a new play in the game.
Shift your perspective.
Take on a new position!

If something is slowing you down, and not assisting in your progression, it deserves less an initial examination. Then you can begin to asses whether the situation deserves more or less focus to realign with your INSPIRED LIFESTYLE.

Your habits need an assessment and then a good kick in the ass.

What’s at Stake?

It’s the simple but profound stuff that we often sabotage:
our time
our health
our thoughts
When combined these come to construct our overall mental, physical, emotional makeup.

The culprit is often something ridiculously trivial.
Or perhaps there is something more serious to deal with, such as an addiction.
Or maybe a wicked combination that feeds into each other.
{Yeah, I’ve definitely seen that combo before}

I think if we take time to prepare ourselves for the challenges we know lie ahead in the context of our ASPIRATIONS, that we setting ourselves up for greater SUCCESS and HAPPINESS with more to spare in giving back to the world.

{ Hmmmm…. this plot is sounding a little like the Gita!
Currently I’m reading translated commentary version from Yogananda }

Find your Rhythm

It is key that you follow a cycle that works for you in some way so that you can set realistic and manageable goals and small wins that synergize you towards your IDEAL DIRECTION.

Seasonal transitions are a great reminder of our own shifting rhythms and create a natural power-boost to your efforts.

Groups and Communities can also play a critical role in your development.  It is important to meet a variety of people and experiences to test theory of change and to offer a common support and bond.

Travel (especially abroad) is also a prime opportunity to re-calibrate to a different frequency.  (This one can also be tricky, as I realized ultimately how my sense of place and seasons has been rather askew since May 2011 until now.  The wave forms seem to be finally flowing in a synchronistic direction).

My Personal Time Out

I am setting up to embark on a 2-week Fall Ayurvedic cleanse with the great folks at Eastside Yoga.  As such, I am taking this opportunity to examine a number of habits.

The cleanse technically begins tomorrow, but I’m getting a jumpstart on a self-imposed part of this cleanse which is a Facebook Fast.

Already, I can feel my impulsive, habitual nature wanting to take over, especially in the earlier parts of the day. Reach for news and the outside world, rather than hanging out with myself.

We need tools to stay in touch, but it has been taken a little too far with giving a single corporation that much power.  And it is without a doubt that they understand the nature of habit and psychology very well to lock you in.

Studies reference the need for 21-days to really rewire a habit.

I wonder just how much time I will free up in my life to do more things consciously – to really engage, without the habitual clutter taking up residence.
(Things like this blog post)

What guest have you invited into to habitually take up space in your mind and routine?

I invite you to join me to remove your own mental clutter.

p.s.
It may be a while before I promote this Blog Post makes it to Facebook!!! * )

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The Heroine

Wind caresses her face,
Swiftly sweeping away the mask,
Unveiling her tendencies
Stroking her hair Wild with
a Kiss of Encouragement.

She pushes up into the Golden,
beams of Sunlight consume her
A gentle, forgiving fierce lover
at once Harsh and Harmonic.
Shakes away the lifeless locks of dread to
Call forth a sparkling Halo Crown
Great gift of the Goddess.

Her eyes shine forth like a Galaxy of unknown Universes,
Expand and Contract

beyond Infinite Realms of Reality
In Bloom.
Vivid Worlds of Imagination glimmer behind this planetary Soul.

Mounds of Earthy flesh and bone and Breath
Reconvene to Re-Invent as Recognition breeds Belief.
Folding from within, Outward and Upward.
Without.
Melt away this skin, Cocoon
She is ready to Soar.

Ancient blood charters these vessels, bearing Salvation.
For she has been Born into Self-Realization
A Destiny seeking Fertile ground for its Seed.
Cascading pools swirl in the Sacred Chamber
Feeding Life into her.
Drum, Drum, Drumming to release the Soul
Rhythm and Intent.
Powerful Pulsations of Pleasure

Forgotten and Forlorn
Sensory Trans-Mutations
Weave a Tapestry Dance
of the Primordial Essence.
Hidden in plain view.

Pound, Pound, Pounding to
Let run Free, the Prisoner.

You are the Lightbeam
Brilliant and Bold and Brazen
Shine bright to reveal your Strength

Rise Up!
in this Brave New World
Never a Saint, but
A Heroine.

(*photos by Nicole Lilly*)

It’s currently the only public class that I am offering, largely due to unfortunate circumstances of navigating the yoga business, and the resulting decision I made to focus my time on becoming a better student and teacher rather than seek out more classes to lead.

The way I see it: Far better to LIVE my Yoga in a way that is congruent and aimed towards healthy, holistic growth in my own practice than to teach Yoga from a place that meets the demands of the ego, external expectations and a less-informed perspective.

As I led my small class of mostly regular students, I noticed…..something in me had shifted.
I felt a connection to my inner Teacher in a way that I hadn’t quite felt before.

There was a certain calm confidence emanating from my core (that space that is the center of my being, not my abdominal muscles) that I hadn’t realized was missing.

Had my Heart grown back to full size?!?

The Grinch: A heart 3 sizes too small

It was much like I had been standing in a dimly lit room and then having the lights turn on in their full intensity. I could see before, but didn’t realize what was missing until I could sense with greater detail.

Maybe my students felt it, and maybe they didn’t, but what is most important is that I FELT IT.

What happened?

Shit happened.
Then, the shift.

For the past month (or more, if I’m being honest) I’ve been processing the effects of feeling like a misfit and reject within local Yoga community: slandered ego, displaced, victimized, emotionally traumatized, isolated, taken for granted, and definitely misunderstood.

And you know what?
It’s the best lesson that could have been given to me.
Not because it’s been fun or easy, but because it has provided the type of rich, unearthing experience that forces one to examine their motivations and their place in this world.

As one of my fellow Yoga teacher trainees put out in disussion last week during our intensive:

When you reach the Dharma Gates, what are you going to do? Try to go around or go through?

I really like that idea.

I don’t believe I would have been able to reach this place so easily and swiftly on my own.
No, not at all.

You see, I just finished up an 8-day training for Yoga teachers, Unfolding the Lotus (hosted by Gioconda Yoga and friends at BFree Yoga in Austin). I have huge amounts of gratitude for the container of experience that was offered to me in this training to sincerely dive deep into the muddy waters of my mind and body, and to rise to the surface with greater insight and confidence.

What was different about this particular training?

Unlike other teacher training modules I’ve completed since my 5-week program in Bali last year (that was a truly awesome experience), a fully integrated mind-body-spirit approach was provided – offering multiple styles, perspectives and approaches to asana, philosophy, creativity and more. We always hear and read the anecdotal accounts of how Yoga is more than asana, and the deeper I go into into the philosophical and mental aspects, the more this rings true.
 

Guess what else is cool?

I also worked with some badass poses that I typically steer clear of, lacking the trust necessary to develop the skill.

Why?
Because you cannot separate Trust from Support.

You cannot separate the Body from the Mind.

So many approaches to Yoga emphasize taming the body (and refining teaching) through various physical techniques: hold intensely challenging poses longer and power through the discomfort until a supposed breakthrough occurs (which can disrupt the flow of energy if this is one’s only way to practice); teach with minimalist cues and stay out of the crown chakra – don’t dare sound too much like a “yoga teacher” (which leads to an inauthentic approach).

Even when there’s some good intentioned work with the “energetics” of the body thrown in, it’s often reliant upon external perceptions or at the hands of another rather than through study of ancient texts and how those eternal teachings resonate within the cells of ones own being.

Whoa.
This is some deep stuff!

You see, when we can understand our own existence in a larger spiritual and human context, and when we can safely process our fears and demons in an environment that seeks to build up mental courage rather than tear down or power through, magical things begin to happen.
 

We become comfortable stepping right into the Dharma Gates.

No more looking for ways to hop the fence or looking for the shortcut.
Nope, the only way in is through.
(Here’s another great article I recently read on the process of facing our spiritual paradox)
 
I’m grateful for making my studies of Yoga philosophy a priority in my practice.

The wisdom and guidance I have been offered by my teachers in understanding ancient texts such as Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita has made such a difference, for it has offered the context to explore my mind and body in a way that just cannot be accessed through a physical practice alone. And there is SO MUCH MORE TO LEARN!
 

Balance is key.

Too much emphasis on the body and the whole being suffers. Likewise, if we are too hung up in our mind-trips.

Flow with the grace of the body. Rest into it. Open it up. Let it be a container for expression and for processing emotion. Examine the mind and there you will find inspiration to release that which is repressed. Allow the interconnectedness of the koshas to unfold in the holistic way that the Soul requires.

(Another lovely article was published by Yoga Journal that I read yesterday which goes into greater detail around merging the various sheaths of the body.)

This is where you will find the Fire of transformation and the sweet Somatic Nectar to blossom in this time and space of existence.
 

Don’t hold back.

You are where you need to be.

And still realize, there are so many petals left to unfold…. just have Faith in the process!